Oil a-la

Well here I am with another ramble of my overactive mind. Islamabad is facing perhaps its worst month if not year of instability, violence and general uneasiness.

The question that arises in my mind is "Is this all the fault of the Madrassah's/Talibanization or is there something more brewing here?"

The second question that comes to mind is "how did the last seven years of general optimism and liberalism end up in two sides of the same coin at loggerheads with one another?

Well here’s how my theory goes:

The US hunger for Oil is infamous in its background and has led to many dubious wars fought over one pretext or another. Who appointed USA as the policeman of the world I cannot recall however if there’s a problem in the Middle East, USA is eager to help. If there’s a problem in Iraq, call the USA. If the Afghans are having issues (created thanks to the US) call the USA. And now there are problems in Pakistan . . . guess who is already here but acting like they are likely to be called. The good ol USA!

Here’s my list of common denominators for all these locations:

US oil prices have had their peaks in 1980, 1986, 1991, and 2001 and most recently in 2005. (source Deloitte research)

And now for global events of the same dates: Afghan war began in Dec 1979 and ended in 1989 with the USSR breaking in 1990. Iraq invades Kuwait in 1990.Afghan Taliban-US war 2001 and ironically Osama is in Pakistan now.

A recent quote from Washington post posted by my friend Ali states "President Bush must order targeted strikes or covert actions by American forces, as he has done several times in recent years. Such actions run the risk of further destabilizing Pakistan. Yet those risks must be weighed against the consequences of another large-scale attack on U.S. soil."

What’s with this preemptive shit people??

Here’s my take on the afghan war that leads to the next possible action/operation we are bound to see:

USSR is broken up so that the now liberated Central Russian oil and gas can be sold to/bought by the highest consumer. (That possible means this shit was in the ropes since a loooong time back; referring to the first afghan conflict in 1979). All the big names we so familiarly hear these days were the small fries then but somehow are the big fish that are coordinating all sorts of crap around the world. Then came the Middle East oil reserves. This was the much needed fuel to bring the prices of oil from around 50+ USD to a low of 15 or less (the lowest it’s ever been since 1973). Now with the Russian states liberated all that is needed is a channel to ship the oil out from there to the good ol USA. As the direct route is through Afghanistan, what we find is the land locked geography of this piece of Asia with the only accessible way through Pakistan via Gwadar. A little footnote here to check out is the Pakistan-India conflicts some years back which nearly brought us to the brink of war twice.

Well that’s my take . . . they need the tribal belt stabilized (that’s the politically correct word for “finish the tribal problem”) so that a pipeline can be extended down to the Indian Ocean so that another tap of black gold may be opened for the good ol USA.

p.s. this all would go to shit if someone were to invent a stable nuclear cell to power our industry and transport in the next few years

p.s.s. in case I go missing you know I hit some nerves on this theory

Auntie Aziz Part II to Auntie Shamim

Well, well, well; here I am again after a long break from my FB notes (was on vacation but then that’s another note altogether) inspired to pen my thoughts after the proceedings from the last few days and their startling yet comical conclusion.

As the title states this note is a sequel to a previous note inspired by the events that have occurred in the little capital city of Islamabad over the past few months gaining steam slowly but surely. Yes people I am referring to Maulana Abdul Aziz, his band of ‘Mullas’ from Lal Masjid, Jamia Hufsa Women and their legion of Dunda (that’s long bamboo sticks to the non locals) brandishing associates, trying to establish a state-within-a-state. *(The word Mullas will be used in the note to refer to the representatives of the violent groups of Islamic students and their likes for sake of my laziness and easy summaries). These fools have been on a rampage to enforce the proper Islamic law in Islamabad after having quietly observed the obscenities and degradation of our social fabric.

The most recent example of their efforts to enforce this proper Islamic law was the abduction of 3 Chinese masseuses from a Chinese Acupuncture Clinic and Massage Parlor in F-8 (that’s one of the residential sectors of Islamabad). Yes, yes the first thought that does cross ones mind when you combine ‘Chinese’ with ‘Massage Parlor’ are the funny stories and thoughts of massages that end with ‘happy endings’ but this particular enterprise was indeed an acupuncture clinic and a kosher establishment albeit it did offer female masseuses for female and male clients.

Not only were three Chinese citizens kidnapped by these enforcers of the true Islamic law, but, also amidst the operation were two members of the MMA. A little background for those unaware; the MMA is the Islamic Cleric's political party that also is making efforts to establish proper Islamic law in Pakistan! How ironic it is that these two were the only clients getting massages at this particular establishment in the mid afternoon when the raid by the Dunda (please refer to earlier definition) toting representatives from Lal Masjid was carried out. Even more ironic is the fact that these two political representatives were quietly let go through the back doors of the stronghold of these Mullas located near a busy market center of Islamabad. Perhaps Proper Islamic law exonerates representatives of Mullah Political Parties from enforcing Proper Islamic law or then again there may be two different sets of laws in Proper Islamic law; one for the citizens of the country and two for the representatives enforcing the law (waitaminute this sound like the situation in any country and its above-the-law citizens and the rest of us normal folks).

Well to breeze through this issue (and not bore you too much with a history lesson) there was a stand-off between these ‘Mullas’ and the government law enforcement forces for the last three days which has included but not wholly:

1. The cordoning off of the sector G-6 in Islamabad
2. Exchange of tear gas and gunfire between both sides
3. The death of a few dozen innocent citizens who were not involved in either sides issues
4. Injuries to dozens more from stray bullets and flying debris
5. An overall atmosphere of stress and fear for the rest of the citizens (anticipating when their homes might get invaded by these ‘Mullas’ trying to enforce ‘Proper Islamic law’

The conclusion to this drama that has unfolded so tactfully and entertained the light minded citizens (such as yours truly) was a late night arrest of the main brain behind the entire operation; Maulana Abdul Aziz!

This dude was arrested at around 2100 hours while trying to make his escape under the guise of a Burqa (That’s the full body veil that very conservative, bordering on fundamentalist, women of Islamic societies don to keep leery gazes off their apparent (but not really) beautiful appearances). Hence the title of my note is aptly noted as Auntie Aziz. In fact this last thought has just prompted me to write a sub note here and take a vote:

I have never seen a shapely women wear a Burqa. In fact all the burqa clad women I have come across have been rather pear shaped with their behinds bigger than the seats they occupy in public places displaying the phenomenon of semi hardened Jell-O trying to mold itself around (instead of inside) the container it is set to solidify in (has anyone seen flubber???) YUCK! Any of you who may have seen different please enlighten me!!

Back to the main note. Well this Main Brain who shall now be referred to as Auntie Aziz was trying to escape his stronghold of Lal Masjid manned by a few thousand dunda and gun toting (I’m talking automatic AK 47’s here and not your BB gun the average man may acquire in a sports store here) wearing a Burqa!! What was this idiot thinking?? The police (male and female) have been frisking every person that enters and leaves the area and he expected to escape the premises without so much so as a surprised grin from a female officer when she would frisk a Burqa clad woman and find a noodle where it shouldn’t be???

On a vote between Auntie Shamim (my previous note and sequel of sorts to this one) and Auntie Aziz I state the following:

1. 1 point to Auntie Aziz for effort
2. 1 point to Auntie Aziz for fashion statement
3. 1 point to Auntie Aziz for initiative
4. And a sharp fist where the sun don’t shine to Auntie Aziz for messing with my city!!
5. 10 points to Auntie Shamim for entrepreneurship

And kudos to the government for finally addressing an issue pending since the last 5 months. Red tapism and bureaucracy delays at their best.

Adios.